I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Girls should come with a carfax report
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We left an ass print on the piano.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
