i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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