i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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