My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
