When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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