I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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