He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
