Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
