i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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