then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
