Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
