So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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