Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
