I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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