oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
