New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
