yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
