Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
