do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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