Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
