its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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