Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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