Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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