She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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