Where are you?
In a non slutty way
her vagine was all disorganized.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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