Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
