Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
