That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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