Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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