His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
