You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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