He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
