Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
