Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
