hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
