you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
