Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
