i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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