you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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