I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
