nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
