Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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