i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize