So drunk its hurt
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
