Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
