I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
