Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize