Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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