not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
