yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
