white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize