Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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