So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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