after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
