Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
