Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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