you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
