Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize