my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
