I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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